It’s kind of a long story as to why, but I stumbled across “Wandering emus finally corraled,” in the Leader-Telegram, the local paper in the fine “Eau Claire, WI and the Chippewa Valley Since 1881.” It’s another story about loose but soon recaptured emus that again make me wonder why we are not the EMU emus. For example: “Lake Hallie Police Chief Cal Smokowicz said… ‘One citizen reported that the emus were walking on her deck, ‘pecking’ at her patio window. Another caller reported that the emus were chasing children.’” Any bird that can scare/chase children seems pretty worthy of being a mascot to me.
Anyway, according to the story, the Wisconsin emus appear to have gotten away from someone in the area who was raising them. And, according to the story, “There is no ordinance in the village against raising the birds.” Well, this got me to thinking: given the talk in Ypsilanti regarding an ordinance that would allow people to keep chickens (see, for example, this Mark Maynard post on the subject), I wonder about the viability/possibility of raising emus within city limits? I mean, wouldn’t that be kind of like raising big chickens? And since there doesn’t appear to be any ordinance in Ypsilanti that specifically says you can’t raise emus, well, doesn’t that mean it would be okay?
While we were in between mascots, I happened to talk to one of the Student Affairs mucky-mucks (still employed at EMU) about the emu option. After all, graduates of Huron High up the river are quite fond of being the Huron River Rats.
Alas, we had (and have) multiple APnesses who suffer from such low self-esteem, they project it upon the institution. These are the same folk who perpetuate the culture of failure and incompetence that continues in too many areas to this day.
Anyhoo, from this person’s response, it was obvious that of all the choices available, the emu was not gonna be a contender even if 15,000 people voted for it. “There is no way,” this person sniffed haughtily, “that we will be associated with a bird known for sticking its head in the sand.”
I knew better to point out to this person that:
* that was an ostrich, not an emu.
* it wasn’t true about ostriches anyway.
* sticking one’s head in the sand is a fair representation of many EMU (mis)management types–although a more scatological image also comes to mind.
If we were the Emus, we’d at least have something unique and cool. But that would require some mucky-mucks to admit that they were wrong–which almost never happens.
These people are firmly ensconced in their management “Circles of Onan” and hunkered down concentrating at that particular task at hand *snicker, huh-huh* (yes, look up Onan).
As long as they keep doing that, they’ll make each other feel good about what they’re doing. Never mind that to the reality-based world they look like a bunch of j***-offs.
BTW, does anybody else think that EMU’s “new era of transparency” seems to resemble the old opacity?